A Philosophical Guide
Marketers have really ruined the internet, haven’t they. As absurd as the title of this post sounds, I find myself encountering similar blog posts everyday — articles stuffed with keywords in the (ultimately fruitless) hope that search engine algorithms will sit up and take notice.
Now, I’m not an S.E.O expert (or even a novice) — I’m just your typical, wholesome, girl-next-door camgirl — but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that this clearly doesn’t work. I’m not saying it doesn’t “work” at a technical level — sure, maybe if you repeat the word “camgirl” and “webcam model” a couple thousand times in your essay, you might rank a little higher in Google search results initially, but isn’t bounce rate a thing, too (the amount of time someone spends on your page after they click through to it)…?
So let’s say you did get your keyword-stuffed article to rank in search results. How long would someone spend on your page after clicking through to it, once they realize that your writing makes you sound like, at best, someone with an unfortunate case of selective Tourette’s syndrome.
After reading through one too many of these S.E.O optimized “Cam Girl How-To” guides, I almost started feeling a certain fear of missing out. What would it really be like to actually write one of these monstrous articles? Would I be able to survive it?
I took it upon myself to tackle this. It’s not easy to sound like a robot, there’s always a voice in your head that goes “OMG this is so, so ridiculous”. But I managed it. It took me the better part of a weekend to write this, and by the end of it, I was exhausted. This was it. This would be my Ulysses.
And for you, gentle reader, I now present this advance copy of a manuscript that’ll one day be read in college classrooms all over the world, mandatory reading for people taking honors courses in “The Decline Of The West” and similar areas of study.
How To Read This Camgirl Guide
Since I’m a college student, I’ve indulged my more bookish, academic side, here…I’ve broken this Guide into sections. Think of them as symphonic movements.
1: What Is A Cam Girl
In this first movement, I emulate the rhetorical structure of Kant’s What Is Enlightenment within the context of webcam models who stream on cam-girl sites. Can we identify growing strains of “cam girl-ism” in contemporary culture?
2: How To Be A Cam Model
What is meant by “Being”, anyway? Does camming necessarily make one a Camgirl? Does the fact that I’m a camgirl mean that I am necessarily constrained to defining myself as “one who cams?” In this movement, I shall explore the underlying ideological apparatus that pigeonholes “girls who do camming” as “cam models” — and how the performative dimension of being a webcam model transforms, over time, into a form of unspoken ontological oppression.
3: Equipment Needed For Camming
An exploration of objects of need. Lacan says Desire is the desire for desire. In cam girl terms, this may be loosely translated as Tip Me Before We Skype. In a world of conspicuous consumption, technological objects are fetishized to the point of need.
Add to this the objectification inherent in cam girl work, and we come to a crisis of meaning: does an object need another object? Or is the desire for the right equipment for camming nothing more than an objet petit a, that endless circling around an absent center?
4: What a Camgirl’s Room Should Look Like
The operative phrase there is should look like. A few decades ago, Baudrillard predicted a culture over-saturated with visual symbols where the representation of the thing would overtake the thing in itself.
Being a very educated person, Baudrillard called this phenomenon “simulacra” instead of something more normal like “wow everything’s so messed up”. In this movement, I will explore the nature of surface — — what happens when surface becomes content?
It’s easy to dismiss this trend as somehow superficial, but let’s not be too hasty. For example: Flaubert’s classic novel Madame Bovary. Isn’t that masterpiece, in its own way, also an experiment in privileging representation over content?
The plot of Madame Bovary is quite ordinary, at best — A young girl marries a rich, uninteresting husband, and decides to become a camgirl and join a webcam model site so she can have a career in camming. But the plot of Madame Bovary isn’t what sucks you into the story, it is because of the way it is told, with that tone of irony and bemusement that perhaps only Dostoevsky can match.
So is Madame Bovary a structural representation of a Camgirl’s art?
Stylistically, would a cam girl’s room echo Adolf Loos Ornament Is Crime or embody the subtler polytheism of Robert Venturi’s Less is a Bore?
This movement closes with a possible resolution to the existential quandary: What should a cam girl’s room LOOK LIKE? Perhaps it doesn’t matter, as long as it is a Room Of One’s Own.
5: How Much Money Does A Camgirl Make On The Best Camming Website
Here, I begin an analysis of the concept of “best”, and how a hyper-competitive culture oversimplifies merit into byte-sized metrics. What really makes a cam site the best?
Can we ever even know? Or are we doomed to reduce everything to manageable numbers, forever condemned to be bound by simple mathematics in our search for the elusive “best”.
This analysis is followed by an excerpt from my college essay “how fiat currency shaped the modern world — a guide for camgirls”. In pre-modern economies, the gold standard was a strong anchor, controlling rampant inflation and regulating cash flow through economies. Consequently, cycles of inflation and recession were more manageable.
When money is no longer anchored to such a standard, when all money essentially becomes paper money, or monopoly money, how must we evolve our understanding of the concept of “earning money”? Perhaps the path forward is not to ask “how much money can I make as a webcam model” but to instead focus on building client relationships that outlast economic uncertainties.
1. What Is A Camgirl
A Philosophical Enquiry Into the Nature of Being (A Webcam Model)
Do you want to become a camgirl? Or do you want to earn money as a webcam model? It’s important to know whether you intend to work as a cam model or a webcam girl, and to know what a camming girl does.
Cam girls, also known as camgirls or sometimes called webcam models, are girls who perform cam related services when they engage in a process called “camming”. This activity is usually done in front of a webcam, whether it is a computer used for cam model shows or a laptop used for webcam live-streams.
Camgirls have a camming feed which is broadcast LIVE from their webcam model cameras to the best camming sites that the camgirls have joined (which can be easily done by registering as a cam model online on a camgirl website).
These girls have cam model customers who have subscribed to their channels. Customers may include men and women who have subscribed to a webcam girl’s Onlyfans, or are following her on one of the top cam model websites. These customers (sometimes also called webcam model clients or camgirl customers) are given access to the video streaming feed that the cam model is broadcasting (earlier referred to as the camgirl camming feed).
When camgirl clients get access to the webcam model’s livestream, they can join her in her camming chatroom to chat with her, to watch her as she cams, or to look at her as she is camming. The cam client may choose to tip the webcam girl with tokens, and sometimes they choose to directly subscribe using Paypal camgirl subscription services, or cam model credit card processors.
Therefore, it is extremely important to choose the best camming network as your primary cam girl site, if you want to quickly become one of the top camgirls in the webcam model industry.
As you continue to learn how to become a camming model over the course of your cam girl career, being informed of all the camgirl tips and tricks is as important as selecting the right cam girl site. Some webcam models spend too much time looking for the best camgirl sites, until they shortlist some web cam model platforms, enabling them to compare the best cam sites on the internet.
This is time consuming and unnecessary, since you can instead search for a recommended list of camming sites that have a good reputation of being some of the most reputed cam sites, as well as the best websites for cam girls.
Becoming a camgirl is often a time-consuming process. There are many elements involved, whether it’s deciding which camgirl site is the best, or buying equipment to help you with your camming. There’s a lot of work involved in becoming a top camgirl in 2021, because you have to consistently make webcam model videos as well as cam girl photo galleries. So the quicker you have a ready-reference list of must-haves for any camgirl, the easier it will be for you to make money as a web cam model, or even earn cash on Onlyfans like Bella Thorne (who isn’t a camgirl or a webcam model, but she does have an OnlyFans)!
2. How To Be A Cam Model
A Guide To Clothes, Toys and Lighting
Every camgirl has to make it a point to always look her best, and present her most attractive self. Putting your best foot forward is extremely important as a cam model, because feet are a profitable sub-niche and if you have attractive camgirl feet, then you’ll be able to be successful just by putting your best cam model foot forward.
The outfits you choose as a cam girl are also important — — make sure you wear clothes that are congruent to your camming personality.
A camgirl who knows what clothes look good on her webcam model body will always be more popular and well liked compared to a cam model who dresses herself in a sack of rice, or a dinosaur suit.
Having cam model clothes is also very useful — — the next time you go to Forever 21, ask the nice lady behind the counter “could you please tell me where I may buy camgirl clothes so I can look good as a webcam model?” She’s not a cam model, but she’ll know exactly which webcam girl outfits are a perfect fit for you.
Wearing layered clothes is great if you work as a camming girl, because they allow you to do better camming shows by performing burlesque routines that would make Dita Von Teese blush (she is not a cam girl or a web cam model, just FYI — — and to the best of my knowledge, she does not cam on a camming website).
Cam models need to have special cam girl lighting for their webcam shows, because if they didn’t, there wouldn’t be as many keywords. So having a good lighting setup is essential if you are a webcam model, even if you’re just camming in your spare time to pay your way through law/med school. Good lighting can make the ugliest camgirl in 2020 look like the hottest camgirl in 2021. So make sure your camgirl lighting game is really on-point, and you’ll be in the list of top camgirls in 2022 no matter how your camgirl face or your cam model body looks.
3. Equipment Needed For Camming
Which Webcam Model Is The Best Fit For A Cam Girl?
If you’re not a camgirl, you probably don’t need the kind of camming equipment a cam model needs so that she can be a good webcam model, even if she’s not the best new cam model in 2020.
In fact, if you’re not a webcam model, I don’t know why you’re reading this anyway, other than the fact that you might have a twisted sense of humor. It’s a little known fact that many cam girls also have a twisted sense of humor, besides secretly being rattlesnakes.
In any case, since the heading tag above this article mentions camgirl gear, I guess I’ll have to write about that. The first thing you’ll have to consider is the confusion caused by the fact that not only are you a webcam model, but you also have to buy a webcam model in order to be a webcam model. Isn’t that the perfect representation of late Capitalism: you are what you buy. It’s also potentially risky — for example, you wouldn’t want to say you want to buy a cam girl because that would be politically incorrect. So in this section of the article, I’ll have to over-use the keyword Webcam Model, Google be damned.
You can buy pretty much any webcam model, but I’m partial to Logitech Brio — having the 4K recording really makes a difference, whether you’re an experienced camgirl or a girl new to camming.
There’s a new trend of VR Webcam Models, and I’ve been looking into it. Seems like it may be the way forward, and the future of camming will probably be one involving VR Webcam Models being used by camgirls to broadcast their cam show live streams.
4. What A Camgirl’s Room Should Look Like
The Cam model’s room, or camgirl bedroom, depending on sources, is where the webcam model performs her camming rituals. Having a good place to initiate your camgirl ritual is essential to providing a pleasurable cam experience to your cam model clients.
Ensure that your camming bedroom is a reflection of your personality as a camgirl (see photo inset). The room is your camming environment and an extension of your state of mind. In the words of the famous camgirl Decartes, I cam, therefore I am (not to be confused with top cam model Popeye’s I am what I am) — your camgirl room reflects who you are, so make sure it is congruent.
In recent years, public intellectual Dr. Jordan B. Peterson (who is not a cam girl, as of the writing of this article) has been a guiding light for many cam models, because of his nuanced advice on how webcam models can set up their camming rooms. Memorable camgirl quotes from Dr. Jordan B. Peterson include:
If You Want To Organise Your Psyche, You Could Start By Cleaning Up Your Camgirl Room.
Clean Your Webcam Model Room, Bucko.
Stop Saying Things That Make You Weak, And Clean Your Damn Cam Room.
Have You Cleaned Your Cam Model Room?
Such insights are to be heeded, whether Dr. Jordan B. Peterson is a camgirl or not, and it’s a responsibility for every cam model to make sure her cam room is set up for camgirl success.
5: How Much Money Does A Camgirl Make On The Best Camming Website
Probably by not spending her time writing posts like this on Medium. I can’t help it, though, I just had to try writing a “marketing” article.
All things considered, I’m quite pleased with it. I haven’t gone into too many cam girl tips and tricks, or cam model hacks, but I’ve covered all the webcam model fundamentals that any girl who is new to camming might want to learn.
Well, I haven’t actually done that either, but it was funny, I was a little tipsy, one thing led to another. I rest my case.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alice Quine is a camgirl and webcam model. When she’s not camming on cam sites, she’s usually busy writing, painting, reading or pretending to be a cat.